Tiger Woods: Were You A) Cheating on Your Wife, or B) Shopping for Early Bird Deals?

This past weekend, Tiger Woods made headlines when he got into an accident outside his home at 2:30 AM Friday morning.  In the aftermath, Tiger’s reticence has fueled rumors ranging from infidelity (meeting up with his alleged mistress for Thanksgiving dessert?) to drug use (after all, who crashes their car in their own driveway sober?).  Some are even speculating that the injuries he sustained were from his wife, taking out her scorned wife vengeance on him with a golf club.

Personally, I think everyone is reading too much into this.  From my point of view, Tiger was simply doing what everyone else was doing in the wee hours post-Thanksgiving: heading out to JC Penney’s early bird Black Friday sale.  Those sales started at 3 AM, so Tiger must have been getting a jump start on Christmas shopping.  And he simply got distracted when driving-while-coupon-cutting.

That’s it.  End of story.  There were no mistresses, no crystal meth, no acts of Chris Brown.  It’s always great to follow up Thanksgiving binge-eating with some celebrity intrigue, but I’m afraid that nothing can tarnish the squeaky clean image of Tiger Woods.

Then again… if Tiger was looking for some early bird deals on “forgive me” diamond rings (remember Kobe’s $4 million “I’m sorry”), that would do it.