Category Archives: Random
Yes, Girls Are Crazy
“I’m not like other girls.” – Every girl You meet a girl. At first, she seems perfectly normal. She’s pleasant and sweet. She goes with you on long walks beside the river. She even listens politely to your dull work … Continue reading
This Hard Knock Life
Growing up, I had two life goals. The first was to own a half-dog, half-monkey that I would call a “donkey” (pronounced “dunky”). The second was to become a Grammy-winning, multiplatinum rap star. Needless to say, I have failed on … Continue reading
Filed under Arts and Entertainment, Random
More Punctuation, Please!
I admit: I like excessive punctuation. I am often quite liberal with my use of commas, parentheses (just to be a jerk), ellipses… and all other forms of fancy–and oftentimes unnecessary–word decoration. However, despite my adulation for spare emoticon parts, … Continue reading
Filed under Random
The World According to Google
Classic debates, as settled by Google: LIBRARIANS vs. ACCOUNTANTS: Maybe you hate fun. Perhaps you just can’t sleep. If you’re in search of a good cure for insomnia, you should reach out to a librarian or an accountant. One good … Continue reading
Hug a Fat Person Today
We’ve always known that human beings are superficial. In today’s photo-centric world, we value men who are cut, women who are svelte. Everyone else–the lumpy, chubby, tubby, saggy–just don’t fit into the frame. But there’s an evolutionary fallacy in our … Continue reading
Filed under Random
√-1 Miss Math
Why hello, math. It’s been so long that I barely recognize you anymore. I think it’s been five years since the last time we saw each other… Remember, I was taking a sophomore elective, and you were using differential equations … Continue reading
Unbreak My Lung
Everyone in this world has a rival. It could be your BFF, like Bert and Ernie. It could be your sworn enemy, like Tom and Jerry. It could be a totally contrived rival, like the E*Trade baby and Lindsay Lohan. … Continue reading
Filed under Random
That’s Why I Chose Harvard
Even though we’ve produced embarrassing YouTube clips before*, Harvard really can’t beat the following admissions video from Yale. “That’s Why I Chose Yale” is a 16 minute musical that was recently released by the Yale Admissions Office. In the video, … Continue reading
Sorry, But That Cannot Be Your Favorite Holiday
At some point in your life, you will be asked to name your favorite holiday. Don’t take this question lightly, because you’ll inevitably be judged on your answer. My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving, so you can wisely assume that I … Continue reading
“Cyber” Monday, Followed By “Phone Sex” Tuesday and “Light Touching” Wednesday
Back in the early 90s, we were introduced to the magical world of “cyberspace,” a place where you could chat with friends, check “electronic mail,” and even talk to strangers. “Going on cyberspace” was like copulating with a pack of … Continue reading
